boy talk #3

soooo......im crushing pretty hard on a certain someone. Not so much in the traditional sense. Yes I am attracted to him (and him to me for those who think im just dreaming lol). But there is alot I can do to help him. Not in the sense that he is lazy or small-minded. But just perhaps lack of resources or knowledge that is more available to me. But there are many qualities that I am pleased about in him. Of course there are some I am not so pleased with, which is why I am trying to hesitate and fully consider the big picture. There is alot to think about in this sort of unusual situation. The most important thing I am trying to decide is if there is enough potential in the future for me to continue on this interest. Because if its not I would much rather stop now. It would be a hard road if I do choose to continue on it. And not exactly as romantic and fun as other relationships would be. Getting older its like i have to look at each relationship a whole lot more seriously. I cant play games or not think about tomorrow n just enjoy it for the fun of it. Dont want to waste time with people who I know I could never have a future with. And I am hard headed but I think I am finally learning the hard way. And I am much more hesitant now with serious relationships. Yea i think my personality likes variety and I always may have a little crush here or there. to keep things interesting. But I am not one to get deeply attached to everyone, not to the point I cant move on. Close friends or people who have been a big part of my life I do get deeply attached to. Side note-thats why it realllly sucks that i'm leaving Meredith college now and transferring. I have made some good friends....I thought these would be the people I graduate with and some would be in my wedding. But I dont know now. hopefully some of those friendships can continue on......but back to the topic....i kinda hope this isnt just a surface, temporary thing. If its what God wants then I hope it will really be something special one day. And if not, I pray He will have grace and show me His better plan :)